Thrive…like a weed!
Last Saturday, I was barefoot, working in a t-shirt and light pants in my house. By last Thursday, it was snowing. Big, fluffy, heavy snowflakes. Two days later, another Saturday, and today, it is a “picture-perfect day” with blue skies and temperatures in the mid-60’s. Welcome to spring in Kentucky. At this time of year, Mother Nature likes to remind us how very NOT in charge we are, by regularly whipsawing us through all 4 seasons, sometimes in a single day. This, as we continue to recover from two solid weeks of being encased in so much snow and ice, that there are STILL piles melting in parking lots around town where snow was shoved into 8 -10 foot hills.
Since yesterday after work also offered mild temperatures, I took the opportunity to unwrap my two fig trees to see how they fared. It had been another brutal winter of record-low temps, and I had actually really tried, this year, by surrounding my young fig trees in nesting mounds of dried grasses and leaves, then wrapping those “nests” with big contractor bags anchored with bricks. As I removed the wraps and pawed through the “nesting materials” I can honestly say the jury is still out on the figs. Sigh.
However, you know who came through all the meteorological brutality with nary a wrap or bit of nesting material or any shred of preparation, kindness, effort or caring?!?! →The weeds.
The weeds came through, unscathed, like CHAMPS. Of course, they did. Those cheeky beasties, in the ground right next to the figs I babied out of hope (and guilt, because I forgot, last year) were not only already in evidence, they were green and spreading. Dare I say: THRIVING. Because: of course. And as I muttered under my breath, clearing around the figs and pulling the cheeky beasties before they can get too far a head start on me, it dawned on me that this was another great lesson from the garden.
Wait. What?!?! Are you seriously going to make fighting weeds in the garden some kind of financial lesson, Jennifer?!?! You bet your bippie, as my Dad would say! Buckle up Buttercups, and lets get our hands dirty, our mindset growing, and our finances thriving!
Weeds don’t care. Weeds don’t require filtered water, 32.798 hours of sun between Monday and Thursday, but none on Friday or Sunday, temperatures at exactly 65.7 degrees fahrenheit, or prime real estate. You talk about bloom where you’re planted, weeds are the spokesmodel to end all spokesmodels for this phrase! Take, for example, highway weeds. Have you ever been zipping along an asphalt straightaway, or stopped in ridiculously epic traffic and noticed a weed growing out of a jersey wall on a bridge? Or a crack in the pavement so small you cannot even see it? And it is almost ALWAYS a DIVA of a weed, standing 3 feet tall, with a blossoming crown of some sort, waving cheekily at you in the breeze. She is not only blissfully unaware of her surroundings, or that she is in fact, a weed, she does not care. Nope, she sure does not. She is waving at the passersby like a Queen addressing her subjects.
Meanwhile, you and I cannot conceive of a less hospitable place from which to exist and survive. But Road Weed Queens not only exist, they THRIVE. They thumb their weedy noses at the preposterous notion that they should bow and barely subsist. By comparison, try to grow an orchid. I 100% believed the nice salesman at the New York Orchid Show many years ago who stood there in the vast Javits Center, and told me-to my face- that ‘orchids were easy’, needing only ‘a few easy conditions’ to blossom and grow. That even I could do it in a tiny, 3rd-floor walk-up in the City. Oooooooooh, really?!?! Do you have any idea how many orchids have gone on to the Great Compost Heap in the sky, at my hands, since then?!?! I will see your Phalaenopsis, sir, and raise you a nameless road weed!
But, I digress. My point is, we would do well to embrace the attitudes and methods of the cheeky weeds. How many times do we set conditions for ourselves that create or enhance barriers to our success? We say things to ourselves like:
“Right after I……then, I will start an emergency fund.”
“As soon as I get…..then, I will write my power of attorney/will/healthcare power/etc.”
“Next Monday, I will call HR and sign up for the 401k/403b/Roth/HSA.”
“I have too much going on to……. right now.”
“That is stuff for rich people.”
The truth is , we are over here waiting for “Perfect Conditions” (patent still pending) that never arrive. Meanwhile, the weeds have a three foot head start on us before its even ‘officially’ spring. Because they start where they are and use what they have, ignoring what they don’t. One of my favorite authors and public speakers I had the privilege to meet many years ago, Michelle Poler, talked about “growing through the dirt.” That turn of phrase has stuck with me since I first heard it, and as I was clearing the figs and noticing all the cheeky new weeds ALREADY thriving, that memory exploded in my brain in technicolor. So much so, I am back re-reading her book: “Hello, Fears” because yes, even I have fears. Personal fears. Professional fears. Financial fears. In fact, I saw some of my fears as ‘justified’ in how things went with starting my own business.
But!!!!
And, this was a HUGE, AHA MOMENT:
I. DID. START. MY. BUSINESS.
Whoa. I had actually forgotten that I had actually done it!
I absolutely did what I set out to do: create my very own business, with a logo and a website and a purpose and everything! But all of that got lost in what followed: it did not go perfectly to plan. And, I got stuck. And, I used my fears as a shield. It took some time to realize what they have been shielding is growth. What they have been shielding is thriving. What I failed to see was that my path was and is going to a new and better plan! One better suited to the very best intersection of my talents and passions, around which I continue to develop skills. I have all faith I still have much to learn, but! I am growing. I am blooming despite the absence of “Perfect Conditions” (where IS that patent, already?). In fact, I would argue, it is impossible to really grow in anything BUT Imperfect Conditions (the we don’t need no stinking patent kind).
So, back in the garden, I thought (and kind of hoped) I might be like the random snapdragon that bloomed right up between the bricks on my ancient terrace, a happy accident that I joyfully welcomed-I love snapdragons! I did not question why she bloomed there. I did not chide her for choosing such a random, somewhat inconvenient spot (for me, not her, clearly). Instead, I marveled how she did it! I joyfully welcomed her contribution to beauty and celebrated her insouciance! Clear across the terrace from the intentional, potted snapdragons. Not a few inches, more like 10 or 12 feet away. Once I realized what she was, I took care not to step on her. I put a wrought iron planter upside down over her so she still got sunshine and rain, but was protected from the trampling feet of children and dogs at play. I embraced and celebrated her, pointing her out to my children and anyone who visited our backyard. This little flower, thriving like a weed.
Perhaps, I realize, I flatter myself to think I am like that brave little snapdragon. It is probably more fair to say I am closer to a dandelion, but my point is the same, and being a dandelion is no less a compliment, I now see. My leaves are sometimes pointy and sharp, experience has made me wary in some situations. I am sometimes bent and bowed under the weight of challenges and responsibilities, but, my roots run deep and strong. Turns out, beauty can be found in small things, unexpected places and unexpected ways like in the strength it takes to keep going, to keep growing. My point is, it takes grit and faith to look clearly at where you are, envision where you want to go and start taking steps to get there. Instead of throwing up our hands and dramatically sinking on to what my friend Tracy calls “The Chaise Longue of Woe is Me”, while pointing out all the “buts” and “that last times” and hoping for the arrival of “Perfect Conditions” (patent pending….still) what we need to do is get going. Go slowly, go north, go left, go on roller skates, but GET MOVING. Thriving can and will look different for all of us, but it will not happen until we commit to our ourselves, commit to our goals, commit to action on making them real. Right now, right where we are, today. Your thriving garden of accomplishment, peace of mind, adventure, and dreams realized awaits you. Roll up your sleeves, friends, and Let’s Get Fearless!
